If you love her enough
My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.
Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For…
I’m an unhappy mess that lives a crazy life. I have no idea who I am, where I’m going, or what I want to do. I’m pitiful, and I wouldn’t look up to me. I’m sad and confused and half the time I don’t know what to do. I’m a mess and I can’t even help it anymore. I wanna go back. Far far back.
Why would this happen. Please tell me. I can’t anymore. I seriously can’t.
I’m so afraid that when I am home in two months people will expect me to be the same Emily I have always been. Yes, down at the core I’m still that girl but I’m different. I don’t enjoy most things a 19 year old does. I’m not interested in drinking or hooking up. I’m really not. I’m afraid people won’t like the person I’ve grown to be, because it isn’t what they are used to. I am actually very afraid and I don’t know. I like me. I like that I’m comfortable talking about myself and my journey and my love for The Lord. I don’t want to love that double life that I lived in high school. I want to apply it to my every day life as opposed to Sundays at church. I want people to like me and how I’ve grown but I just don’t see that happening. I’m gonna be that crazy annoying girl. And I don’t want that. But I like who I am at the same time, and I don’t want to change. I just want to move and start new. No one has to know who I am and what I was like before. I’m just so scared.